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In the press
WISH April 2006
W I S H M A G A Z I N E 3 1
learn the secrets of mentors and motivators.
Motivation has many catalysts. Sometimes a bulb
flicks on in our head and helps us see the light. We’re spurred to achieve or change our situation – to get thin, get fit, get published, get happy, change jobs, quit smoking, learn to paint, buy a yacht and learn to sail it. Or maybe a fire-breathing, fire-walking motivational guru’s seminar leaves us with lasting lessons – as well as singed feet. At other times, failure, disappointment or a sudden dissatisfaction with how we are inspires us to turn our life around.
Dr Ross Walker’s catalyst was loss. "When I was 17, one week before my final high school exams, my best friend drowned," says the Sydney-based motivational speaker, cardiologist and author of six books on how to be better. "I threw in the towel. Jack and I were going to do medicine together. I was so distraught I believed my life was over, too. Jack’s grandfather was Sir Lorimer Dods, who established the Children’s Medical Research Foundation, a man who exuded a beautiful peace and wisdom. You could forgive him plunging into his own grief but Sir Lorimer saw I was hurting and confronted me: ‘You and Jack were going to study medicine together. That can’t happen now, so you’ll have to do it for both of you.’ His words inspired me to become a cardiologist. They motivated me to put my sadness aside and press on. It was the pivotal moment of my life."
We’re all different when it comes to goals and the means of achieving them but, as Sydney motivational speaker Terry Hawkins insists, "For those wanting to get up off their bum and effect change in their life, there are two times: now and too late." Her words inspired WISH to seek experts who have helped others grasp their dreams. The motivators, psychologists and mentors who make their living out of motivation generally agree that the key is to set goals, devise a strategy to achieve them, stick to that strategy and, then, when you’ve succeeded, give yourself a pat on the back. But first things first. "You need to take time to carefully reflect on what you really want to achieve," says Grant Brecht, Sydney psychologist and author specialising in leadership development.
Planning makes perfect. You wouldn’t start building a house without an architect’s blueprint. Yet, says Walker, "too few of us bother with plans when designing our lives. We should all have life strategies – set out in a journal for ready reference – examining our short- and long-term goals to enhance our physical side, emotional side, mental side, financial side and spiritual side, and work every day to achieve them." Brisbane-based swimming coach and professional motivator Laurie Lawrence counsels: "Goals must stem from a genuine desire to effect change in your life. People can’t be taught to be motivated. It has to come from within. They have to really want something, and love what they want. I don’t change people’s lives. I tell them they have the power to change themselves. Then it’s up to them."
However, devising a motivational strategy is only the beginning of the beginning. "We must also change our mindset at the same time as we change our behaviour," says Brecht. Once you’ve made the behavioural change – "I’ll be a better parent and partner, I’ll be fitter and thinner, I’ll win that promotion" – turn those resolutions into realities by resolving to get home from work early enough to take the family to the beach, to run every morning and cut chips from your diet, or do an economics degree. Whatever it takes.
US motivator Tom Hopkins has a four-step mantra to turn clients’ – and his own – thoughts into action:
1) Tell yourself: “I must do the most productive thing possible at every given moment”;
2) Decide what the most productive thing is;
3) Do it;
4) When you’ve pushed as far forward as you can right now,
go back to Step 1 and start over. But, as Hopkins cautions in How to Master the Art of Selling (Warner Books, $29.95), “Don’t become a fanatic. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do at a given moment is to sit with your favourite person and spend an hour watching the sun go down. [Sometimes it could be] eating, sleeping or taking a vacation.”
American motivator Zig Ziglar is another action man, preaching: “Knowledge fuelled by emotion equals action. Action is the ingredient that ensures results. Only action can cause reaction. Further, only positive action can cause positive reaction.” Like Hawkins, Ziglar advises clients to get stuck in without delay. “Whatever the project, start today,” he has declared. “Clear out a drawer of your newly organised desk. Today. Start a sensible weight-reduction plan. Today. Start putting money in your new ‘investment for fortune’ account. Today. Break away from the downward pull of gravity. Prove to yourself that the waiting is over and the hoping is past – that faith and action have taken charge.” Hawkins takes her own advice in her speaking business. “I can be a drama queen about my schedule, which is heavy, or I can put one foot in front of the other and before I know it I’ll have honoured all my commitments. I tell myself, ‘Just fly and love what you’re doing, girl, because it could all be over tomorrow’.” Hawkins is deeply chuffed when those who’ve taken her motivational advice succeed. “Samantha Wills came to one of my courses. She was a casual employee at Surf Dive ’N’ Ski, just moseying along in life. After our talks she decided she was going to do something great – and she now has the most amazing international jewellery line.” Premiership-winning Sydney Swans coach and former Australian rules champion Paul Roos doesn’t confine his motivational addresses to the dressing-room. He is an in-demand speaker, addressing business leaders, community groups and schoolchildren. “First thing I say is that there can be no success without hard work,” says Roos. “Many people don’t know what hard work is. Once they accept that truism, roll up their sleeves and dig in, they’re on the way to making their dreams come true. At the Swans I weed out the non-triers. Someone not putting in destroys morale and derails group dynamics.”
Roos insists that it’s the Australian way to work hard and to expect others to follow suit. “I can think of a number of sports people who frustrate the hell out of Australians because they haven’t worked hard enough to realise their wonderful potential. They’re always offering lame excuses. ‘Oh, I’m working harder now, I’ve finally changed my ways,’ but suddenly their career is over, they’ve never achieved what they were capable of, and they’re doomed to look back for the rest of their life and wonder, ‘What if I hadn’t wasted my God-given talent?’ ” Often, though, it’s not laziness that hampers us. So-called limiting patterns can sabotage motivational momentum. “These must be identified and overcome,” says Walker. “Ask yourself, ‘What’s stopping me from quitting smoking?’
Maybe you go to the pub with friends and after a drink you can’t say no to a cigarette. Stop going to the pub. If you’re unhappy because you’re in a toxic relationship, get out of the relationship.” Some fall by the wayside because their willpower falters, others lose sight of their dream or they are sidetracked by family and work commitments which, Brecht says, is “perfectly understandable”. Such people must set a new vision and an achievable strategy to realise it. Refocus on goals, devise a scenario for success that considers these obligations. “If they honestly chart their progress and it’s clear they’re going forward, that in itself is wonderful motivation,” says Brecht. “You have to be ruthless in putting aside distractions, otherwise you’ll get demotivated.” Walker cites a 40-year-old client whose limiting pattern was literally killing him. “His heart was in terrible condition, scarcely beating. Part of his problem was that he was very overweight because of heavy drinking. His limiting pattern was that his workmates drank copiously and he felt he had to follow their lead. I told him his life was at risk, which motivated him to make changes. He stopped going to the pub and started attending lectures on Egyptology. He saved the money he used to spend on alcohol and in time could afford to take himself and his wife to Egypt. He lost weight, too, so he could clamber around the pyramids. He came to see me recently with a photo of his new grandson and said: ‘If I hadn’t changed I wouldn’t be around to enjoy all this’.” Limiting patterns have no place in the world of American motivational guru Anthony Robbins. “The only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day you are improving yourself in some way,” wrote Robbins, who tests the resolve of his acolytes by making them walk barefoot on hot coals. “In my seminars people discover what they want, what’s stopping them and, most importantly, they discover how to turn themselves on to produce that result right away,” he has said. “That’s one reason I use the fire walk. Someone in front of a fire gets an emotional state change so they … take action in that moment when everything in their body is freaking out. It’s being in the emotional state to get yourself to step through anything you’re afraid of. People use it for the rest of their lives.” Role models can also help. “Emulate someone you admire,” says Brecht. “There’s no shortage of inspirational people – Mother Teresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela – or it could be a successful sportsman or businessman, or just the bloke down the road who’s a good citizen.” If you need help to power over the inevitable obstacles that can derail your dreams there is no shortage of people to provide advice. Says Brecht, “Contact a psychologist specialising in motivation or a professional motivator but, if it’s the latter, make sure he or she isn’t a flash-in-the-pan operator out to make a quick buck. Ask about their philosophies. Insist they tailor advice to your situation, not just spiel out standard techniques.” Another tack, says Brecht, “is to simply approach someone you look up to and say, ‘I really admire the things you do. Would you be willing to mentor me for 20 minutes or half an hour once a week?’ You’ll be surprised how many people are delighted to do so.” For more on Grant Brecht, visit www.grantbrecht.com.au; on Terry Hawkins and Laurie Lawrence, visit www.speakerseeker.com.au; on Ross Walker and Paul Roos, visit www.thefordhamcompany.com.au.
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